Odd as it is, I still remember a few strange details from my life as a shitfaced little punk. There were the girls and the beer, but they all kind of blurred together. A few moments tend to stand out though, fuck if I know why.
There was this one time I was in the shitter after an all night bender, nothing new really but for whatever reason I actually looked around. Noticed there were these ants on the floor, a whole fucking line of them leading straight up to the ass end of a fucking Dorito. I don’t know why the ants were so set on this one piece of shit chip, and it was in the shitter of all places.
I walked out to the kitchen to take a look around, see if they got into any more shit. Nope, not a single fucking ant in the whole kitchen. Went and had a look in my bedroom since I slept on the floor back then. Not a single fucking ant. So no ants where the food is kept, no ants where I ate the food, but a whole fucking line of ants trying to get at this one fucking chip in the god damn shitter.
Still don’t know why the hell they were there of all places.
Why did I decide to be a Veterinarian? Ants. I know, why a vet and not an entomologist? Well I like working with animals, and maybe when you hear the story you’ll understand it a bit better.
Back right before I left for college I was in the bathroom one day and happened to look down. There was a whole line of ants, single file, marching very purposefully around the floor mat towards a single point. You see, I was living with siblings who had young children of their own and one of them had left the edge of a cheese chip in the bathroom. It was swarmed with ants, almost looked black from all the ants on it.
Of course, I immediately questioned why they had come to the bathroom in search of this food. You see, I was quite certain from earlier observations that there weren’t any ants in the kitchen, and I slept on the floor in my room so I would have known if any were there. So if the major food and garbage sources were left untouched, why here? Of course I began formulating all sorts of theories: maybe their nest was under the room, or they were simply passing through one of the other bedrooms. But the important part is that I asked why.
Over the next few weeks I kept noticing animals doing things and kept asking myself “why?” Eventually that thirst for knowledge dragged me through vet med school. By the second day of hands on I knew I wanted to deal with animals in a useful way. The rest was history.
Maxine Fields (Post Transformation):
I’m not so human anymore. I know it, I know a human wouldn’t do what I’ve done. They wouldn’t eat- they just wouldn’t.
But I’m still holding on a little, can’t quite cut that last tie. Strange it isn’t something human, something emotional, that keeps me this side of humanity. It’s ants, or rather a memory of ants. Of watching them walk across a bathroom floor and do something trivial, eat at a chip I think, and yet made me ask so much.
My rationality, I guess, that’s what keeps me tied down. Maybe we are just rational beings, maybe that is what makes us different. Then again, I’m writing this on tissue paper for fucks sake. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to live, two more died last week… at least that is the public information, who knows if it’s the real number.
We’re such fucking ants, but so are they. I just hope we’re in the kitchen here and not dying for the chip.
Hmm, you’re interested in the painting of the ants. Well, what does it mean to you? I see.
Well you’re asking the wrong person. Yes, of course I painted it. Doesn’t mean I know why they were in the bathroom. Well it’s more of a memory than a real creation.
Of course ants can move through bathrooms like that, I saw it. Yes bathrooms. No, they weren’t. Well, I don’t really care if it’s all that logical to you, it’s what I saw.
Well I’m pretty sure they weren’t under my bed. Because I slept on the floor, that’s why, still do in fact. Yes there were black ants where I grew up. Well your source is wrong. I know what I freaking saw asshole.
You know what, get out. Get the fuck out of my studio!